I wish I had more to say besides, "the clock in the living room is seriously causing me anger by going off every fifteen minutes and I keep dreaming that one day it will be engulfed in flames." I can't even say that because then I'll feel bad about wishing nothing but destruction on someone's treasured family decor, and if it were to suddenly catch fire, there would be no end to my guilt.

So without anything interesting to report, let us meme.

the fake review meme. - stolen from kytha
In the comments, give me the title of a story I've never written, and feedback telling me what you liked best about it, and I will tell you any of: the first sentence, the last sentence, the thing that made me want to write it, the biggest problem I had while writing it, why it almost never got posted, the scene that hit the cutting room floor but that I wish I'd been able to salvage, or something else that I want readers to know.

http://www.nightcastlealbum.com

parts of it doth stream.

( story )

It's starting to rain six hours ahead of schedule. This is awesome. Except for the part where my window's open and I'm too lazy to summon the troops required to create the downward force necessary to close the stupid thing.

Aw. Wet kitty came in through the window and is curling up on my pillow. How cute.

... wet kitty ... pillow.

Nnh. I guess you can stay, Bertie. Asshole. You're lucky you're adorable.

... and wet.

Oh, children.

( bob loblaw irl bs )

On a different note, wow! Water on the moon? Awesome! And oh! Listen to this: Three Americans won the Nobel Prize for physics! Go America!

ALSO OMG THEY'RE TOTALLY FINALLY RELEASING NIGHT CASTLE I'VE ONLY BEEN WAITING FOR TWO YEARS WHAT

(Come on, if I weren't spastic at least once in my entry, you'd think something was wrong.)

I'm going to have to update my resume, for real.

Body by Design, Inc./Drive Line, Inc.
Office Manager
August 2007 - present
Duties:
- accounts payable/receivable
- general filing and office upkeep
- getting people out of jail

Apparently we hired a new mechanic (a friend of both Kirk and Rick), but the catch is that - oh ha ha haa - we have to get him out on work release first. So I'm writing yet another letter to fax to the SMDC sergeant, who now knows me on a first name basis. Watch for an ensuing saga of me completely losing my shit, robbing a bank with an entire eight-ball spitting conspicuously from my flaring nostrils, and then "ah-whoop, sorry Donna, but I felt left out!"

I don't get paid enough for this. HAPPY FRIDAY, Y'ALL.

I woke up this morning with a splitting headache and a certain white demon curled up basically inside my nostril. Something about the impending autumn has my cat (and I use this nomenclature loosely) progressively sleeping closer and closer to me, and while typically I wouldn't mind this (in fact, quite the opposite), I've been having difficulties with seasonal allergies and the road to respiration does not begin with a feline rat attempting to crawl into my face for comfort.

On top of that, I get to make a presentation in one of my classes today looking and feeling like I've just come off a twelve-day bender without the pleasure of actually being intoxicated beforehand.

And I was informed that the book I spent fourteen precious dollars on for the same class is not the book I need for the report. FUCK FUCK FUCK. If anyone needs a droll narrative on the Black Death, let me know. AAAAAAAAAH.

I know it isn't much if you compare it to global crises (yo I'mma let myself finish but people with cancer have the best reasons to complain of all time), but I'm wondering if someone shooting me in the face today would be inconveniencing me or doing me a favour. OVERREACTION FTW.

To open: If you don't think Spencer is god, then at least admit he's a prophet of the highest order.

( Also, I got this in my e-mail )

I want to imagine that it's a patriotic interpretation of postmodern leitmotif, set to slowly tinkling chimes and a hammered dulcimer.

therefore:

A POLL

Poll #1458412 A POLL
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 11

WHICH IS THE BEST ANIMAL

WHO IS AL FUCKING ROKER

PLEASE DEFINE, IN YOUR OWN WORDS, AL FUCKING ROKER

The only thing on par with Ben Gibbard's kitten-killing is Twilight and all of its evil incarnations. Which means that it doesn't come as a real surprise that DCfC is providing a single for New Moon's soundtrack; it's a song titled "Meet Me on the Equinox," and without my obvious prejudices and groans, it's actually not a bad track. It's got the majority of Narrow Stairs beat. I just wish I could connect with it more. Ngh. I need help.

In other veins of mediocrity, has anyone else seen the video for "Black Swan"? Take some NyQuil and stare at a Media Player default visualisation for a while. It has pretty much the same effect. (For the type of label Jagjaguwar seems to be, one would think they'd put more effort into their weirdness. At the very least, something like this. Or, you know, maybe something not so weird. Like the colonial duel scenes in WP's "I'll Believe in Anything" video from SubPop. They blew up a chicken; that should count for something, right?)

A lot of this disquiet stems from the fact that the music industry hasn't been sitting well with me for the past couple of years. Does it make me a bad fan for just wanting to listen to albums and go to shows? I mean, I understand the appeal of contributing to a major soundtrack and making a video (some videos are amazing), but when it gets to the point of being a contrived necessity for something that's become uniformly and inappropriately greater than the music itself, I have to step back and wonder what they hope to accomplish.

The "Black Swan" video looked like someone at Jagjaguwar went, "okay, look, this band is weird and their fans are obviously on drugs, so we need to throw something together that they can enjoy while on various forms of psychedelics." Nothing about capturing and interpreting a complex metaphor, no videographic representation of the story. Apparently, the band isn't interested in making videos at all.

And Ben Gibbard has only a vague idea of the Twilight plot.

I know I sound jaded here, and I might be so. Just a little. In my mind, music should be music for the sake of music, and trying too hard to make it into a marketable machine reminds me of the Helepolis for the siege of Rhodes. It's big and impressive, but it doesn't go anywhere easily, and it's not going to achieve the intended goal. It's simply cumbersome and bloody distracting.

Besides, what happened to film scores? Williams, Elfman, Horner. For fuck's sake.

Blah. Back to work.

It's the first day of my physical classes. I'm anxious as hell. Strangely enough, I'm not actually nervous about the class.

Why am I anxious?

My class starts at 2:30pm.

It's 2:36pm now.

Where am I?

I'm at work.

This is getting so old that it's ridiculous.

I'm sick and it's wrong and stupid. My skin is on fire. Skin is stupid, why do we have skin anyway. I want soup I don't want soup. Why does the doctor live so far away. Yes, the doctor lives in the doctor's office. Someone come take care of me. LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU SUCK. YOU HAVE A STUPID HEAD. I AM GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WATCHING THE BBC AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME.

MY STUDENT LOAN WAS APPROVED

I'M GETTING MY DEGREE, BITCHES

I had a conversation with my boss today on the merits of technology when faced with adverse relationships or unwanted communication. It was pretty amazing, and it ate up about ten minutes of time wherein I could have been doing something like auditing insurance files or being nice to people (let's face it, we all need a break).

Back in the Paleolithic era, humans were mostly nomadic. As such, they were forced to travel in large numbers for the purpose of guaranteeing their own survival (and also to have a Neandertennis partner when warranted). If you got into a disagreement with one of your unibrow'd peers, either you both would have to get the fuck over it like the pansy modern humans you'd eventually evolve into, or you would beat each other with large clubs and/or livestock limbs until one of you eventually died.

It's a lot easier nowadays. With cell phones, if someone's annoying you, you can ignore the shit out of them until they stop calling. It's that simple. And if you're on the phone with someone who will not shut the hell up ...

Well, I think my boss put it most succinctly in describing recent conversations with his soon-to-be ex-wife. "There's a little red button on my phone that magically makes all of the bitching stop. I just push this little button that says "END" and the bitching goes away. You mean to tell me that all I have to do is press this little button? I should've thought of this shit fourteen years ago. Hot damn, even if I don't feel like pushing the button, all I have to do is shut my cell phone? I fucking love technology!"

OUTKAST?! SERIOUSLY?! SERIOUSLY?!

I should have known, considering previous lists, but. But, but dude, this is the least accurate list ever. They put a bunch of random-ass songs (may also be read as random ass-songs, fwiw) into a hat, threw the hat up into the air ala Mary Tyler Moore, danced among the slips of paper as they fell like confetti, and then stuck out their tongue like you would to catch a snowflake and the first song to fall on it and stick without the ink getting licked off would be their number one.

There is no fucking way that song beats out anything from Funeral. I shouldn't be getting this obsessively furious considering my opinion on the site in general, but I. Just.

NGUH.

I'm going to go sit in my office and brood because there's a huge thunderstorm approaching and those are awesome for brooding.

So, my mom got married yesterday.

Also, my brothers are calling Ronnie "dad."

I don't consider either of these a bad thing, but man, I'm so weirded out.

Another thing: life is supposed to be a string of events that you're looking forward to, at least a good life, anyway. So why, when these events actually happen, do I feel like I haven't properly enjoyed them? Why do I feel like - even though I'm usually completely blown away by the awesome when it happens - I could have enjoyed it more? I guess that's what adds to the complete stagnation (and, shall I say, lack of life quality) in between.

I don't know. I'm so dysfunctional.

Had a dream that I was listening to an Oingo Boingo song with Gaelic lyrics in it, but I couldn't find the lyrics anywhere on the internet. So, I went on a Quest. I ended up at this pub that was conveniently named after those specific lyrics in the song. I went inside, and Danny Elfman was performing solo, except it was Young Danny Elfman in a tank top (and for some reason this took place in the middle of winter).

I ran into a girl named Pedro Rodriguez (yes, a girl) who told me I knew her from elementary school? Or something? I had no clue who she was, but I believed her because she was so insistent. I also ran into A Boy from High School (cue the ominous music), who asked me something related to orchestra, and I was like, "I have a guitar and keyboard now, too," by which he was completely unimpressed. I didn't see him for the rest of the night, and I was relieved.

After Danny Elfman's performance, Pedro and I went up to get his autograph (see, even in my dreams I'm completely shameless), and after we were through making complete asses of ourselves, Danny went outside and somehow morphed into Robin Williams rolling around outside in the snow. I had the misfortune of witnessing this. (I say "misfortune" only because he seemed to get incredibly paranoid that I had seen him do this and wouldn't leave me alone until I swore I hadn't watched him roll around. For some reason, I was unconcerned that he was no longer Danny Elfman.)

The rest of the dream was a blur until it cascaded into a scene outside of a bakery, and Danny Elfman was now Danny again. Pedro was still there (along with this large nameless guy that I also knew of in high school), eating a pastry. We were having a contest on who could speak the most foreign languages, and I lost, surprisingly, with German. The sentence was something ridiculously easy like, "Do you want a hot dog?" except it was worded weird, like, "Are you searching for a bratwurst covered in bread?" I tried to defend myself by saying his accent was strange, and then Random High School Guy and I said, simultaneously, "You have an Austrian face!"

Only when I realised the stupidity of that sentence did I finally wake up. This is impressive, considering the stupidity of that entire dream.

Oh well.

edit, 04:15. If I write three full-length posts using three different characters, then advertise "OPEN POSTS" in plain view, and someone goes, "Hey, does anyone want to start a thread?" it very subtly makes a person feel unwanted. I don't know, maybe I'm looking into things too much. I'm at a fragile point in my life, so it wouldn't surprise me. But. Still. Maybe I should finally acknowledge that I'm too old for this and go back to strictly admin stuff. Or maybe just continue wallowing. At least I know I'm good at that, right?

edit, 04:20. I shouldn't try to write about music this early in the morning. Or, like, ever.

First, I might have the student loan thing fixed. We'll see. If I do, it will make me exceedingly joyous.

Second, I talked to my academic advisor, and I made an amazing discovery that blew my mind:

If I switched to a simple general education associates degree, provided I straighten things out with financial aid, I could graduate after the Fall semester. With four ridiculously easy classes.

We're talking English literature and poetry easy.

I could have my diploma in December. By reading books and writing poems.

Then, I could work on my bachelor's in whatever the hell I wanted.

Holy balls.

Was I deceiv'd, or did a sable cloud turn forth her silver lining on the night?

I. I KIND OF WANT TO HUG SOMEONE/SOMETHING RIGHT NOW.

10/16/09 New York, NY - Manhattan Center Grand Ballrom
10/17/09 Baltimore, MD - Sonar
10/18/09 Columbus, OH - The Summit
10/19/09 Chicago, IL - Logan Square Auditorium
10/20/09 Madison, WI - High Noon Saloon
10/21/09 St. Louis, MO - Off Broadway Nightclub
10/23/09 Denver, CO - Bluebird Theater
10/24/09 Salt Lake City, UT - Urban Lounge
10/26/09 San Francisco, CA - Slim's
10/27/09 West Hollywood, CA - The Troubadour

this is more than i can handle oh god.

harmonicalesson, cmoose

seriously guys

seriously

Wow, work is insanely slow today, which is really awesome because I'm feeling ridiculously lazy.

Anyway, my beef with what is otherwise a pleasantly uneventful day is as follows:

Silversun Pickups are playing tonight at Ram's Head Live and the tickets are like thirty bucks and I. Can't. Go. Because, obviously, the universe is out to get me. Either that, or my favourite bands decided to hold a conference of which I was unaware. When they turned the projector on, my face flickered up on a ginormous screen, and Colin Meloy was like, "Okay, this is the girl we totally have to avoid all year long. Capisci?" There was a pause while everyone contemplated the absurdity of Colin Meloy saying "capisci," and then it resumed.

"We're actually not touring at all in America, ever," replied the entirety of Pure Reason Revolution in the manner of a strange, echoing round. "And we actually came to that decision based on the fact that she - " here, my countenance was referred to once more - "really would like to see us."

Meloy rubbed his hands together. "Excellent work. How about you, Brian?"

Brian Aubert templed his fingers. "Silversun Pickups are playing an hour and a half away while she's dirt broke." At this point, half the females and one-quarter of the males in the room lost consciousness because listening to his voice was like freebasing a 20x extract of sex.

"Brutal!" cackled Meloy.

Then Spencer Krug shook his head at their wrathful behaviour from atop his golden cloud, and in-between making it rain and granting sparkling dreams to innocent, sleeping children, invited Apoptygma Berzerk over for a beer.

"Yeah, I can play the show," said Stephan Groth. "By the way, where's Bejar?"

"Crazy," replied Krug.

"Ah," said Groth.

And despite being incredibly petulant and pissed off for the rest of the night, I'll probably live happily ever after.